While there are a good number of days where all runs smoothly, sometimes it is just plain hard to get anything done. I hit snooze one too many times. I make it to the kitchen only to remember I used the last tea bag yesterday. Laundry never made it into the dryer, so now I have to wear my least favorite top all day. First world problems, I know.
Each “bad thing” layers on top of the other making it difficult to still myself. Instead of showing up to pray with all of my baggage, I let myself off the hook. Instead of offering up the lack of caffeine and the wardrobe challenge— I compensate with a treat. I tell myself that it will be ok, just today, to skip my morning prayer time so that I can stop and get a latte from the cute coffee shop nearby. Later in the day, I make time to pop into my favorite store for a wardrobe refresh to compensate for the frumpy I feel. I run fast to keep up with my jam-packed schedule and find a way to avoid the grocery store for just one more day. Knowing that I am setting myself up for another caffeine-free morning, I plan, to go to sleep earlier tonight so I won’t need the tea in the morning. I skip exercise in favor of a relaxing glass of wine.
Mental gymnastics.
I go to great lengths in the mental gymnastics department, allowing myself to put off until later what I know I should do right now. Please tell me I am not the only one.
Obstacles, both real and imagined, distract me. If only there was a cash prize for rationalizing, I would be a millionaire. In truth, I thrive on making excuses. The obstacles don’t even need to be big in order to derail me from my best intentions. There is a string of excuses on repeat in my head to make me feel better about making choices which I know are not in my best interest in the long run. You know the choices: the extra cookie, a few more minutes scrolling through social, not applying moisturizer at night, putting off prayer for one more day, etc.
We want to be women who frighten the devil— Prayer Warriors garbed in the armor of God. We want him to tremble when he knows that we have gotten out of bed. Yet, how easy it is to fall into patterns that don’t bring us closer to either of these goals?
Our thought process—our internal monologue—is comfortable. It’s the voice we know and recognize. This voice is so familiar that we don’t even realize it is busy crafting excuses rather than challenging us to embrace our calling.
Is your internal voice engaged in a monologue rather than a dialogue with God?
We must transform our monologue into dialogue by learning to listen.
Comedians hone their craft of communication by learning principles, playing games, and working in groups. “Yes, And” is the foundation of any comedian’s training. In Yes, And, partners banter back and forth, telling a story, building upon each other’s contribution, never shutting the other person down. To be successful at Yes, And, you must actively listen, process what you hear, and respond affirmatively adding something to the conversation. (Similar to the Pray, Ponder, Act found in each chapter of Abide.)
Becoming a Yes, And Woman.
We need to become Yes, And Women. Our excuses shut down the conversation and derail God’s attempts to build us up. It is as though we were responding, “No because…”. So often, rather than discovering what Jesus wants to say to us, we entertain our internal voice looping the same tape over and over again. “No thank you, I’m busy.” “No thank you, I’m overwhelmed.”
I think Mary (Jesus’ mother) was the ultimate Yes, And Woman. When Gabriel spoke to her, she did not respond with a laundry list of excuses about why this scenario is not convenient or comfortable. She said Yes, And. Yes, and I will visit Elizabeth. Yes, and I will follow Jesus to the cross. Yes, and I will remain with the disciples at the birth of the Church.
Yes, And requires patience. Patience with ourselves and patience with God. If God is calling you to spend more time with Him in prayer, pay attention to all of the things which spring up in your mind which might keep you from dedicating time to stillness and silence. When a nudge comes to spend time in prayer, what is your first thought about why now is not a good time?
Maybe you are great at the stillness and silence. Do your excuses come in the action part of the equation? If God is calling you to incorporate your prayer into action, be sensitive to the excuses your mind generates about why this action is inconvenient or not a good idea. Is the action based in sharing more love— if so, these ideas may be nudges from God. Allow Yes, And to frame your conversation with Jesus. Listen and trust that the nudges you are receiving to reach out to another person in love are really nudges from Jesus.
Think about how you can can incorporate Yes, And into your day to day life. Becoming a Yes, And Woman allows you to approach prayer and life as a Yes, And adventure. What are you saying Yes to?