Our small tribe has been touched again by the death of a very loved young person. And, once again, we arrive to a new day with more questions than answers.
I don’t know about you, but my mind would like to go to the easy place of throwing in the towel.
It might just be so much easier to hit the snooze button rather than wake up and join Jesus for tea/coffee. It would be momentarily more pleasant to let loose with a stream of expletives in the comfort of my car when the next terrible driver follows me too closely or cuts me off, feeding my anger rather than praying for the safety of all on the road. It would be more fun to go for a mimosa brunch, rather than sit between the squirmy toddler and stinky older person in Mass. It would be just a little bit too easy to drift away from the practices that I know tether me (which at times feels loosely) to Jesus.
Instead, I hit my knees, a little more figuratively these days with older knees. I add names to my prayer list. I cry and mourn in my little corner of the world. Sad, but never alone.
I pray for the mammas and daddies who weep as part of their heart is wrenched from them. Why this child, God? I pray for the friends who sob and ask, “What could I have done differently that would have changed the course of circumstances?” Why now, God? I pray for the community as we learn how to walk forward missing one of members. When will this pain end, God?
When your knees are tired from all of the time they have spent supporting your heart in prayer, rest in Jesus’ promises that GOD’S LOVE NEVER FAILS (1 Corinthians 13:8). It might feel too difficult, but you have to rely upon all of the prayers of everyone around you when the pain is just too much.
On the cloudy days, when it feels like the wind threatens to take you down, remember that Jesus is with you and can calm the storm (Matthew 8:23-27).
On the lonely days when your prayers feel like they are falling on deaf ears, remember the Persistent Widow (Luke 18:1-8).
When it feels like you have no more tears to cry and you just need relief, think about the Canaanite Woman (Matthew 15:21-28).
And ponder these words. These I will write on an index card and carry with me:
They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength,
They will soar on eagles’ wings;
They will run and not grow weary,
Walk and not grow faint.
Isaiah 40:31
So we remain. A little tired. A little bruised. But firm in the conviction that together we can face the doubt and fear. The Prayer Warriors will keep fighting from our knees, even when they get tired.
We will trust that God will give us the strength we need to never, never weary of this battle. We will walk forward resolutely, in the conviction that God’s embrace is gentle, loving, warm, and welcoming. We will hold on to the promise that GOD’S LOVE NEVER FAILS.
If you are struggling with grief and need some encouragement, you can read this or this or this or this.